Growing Pains

Tomorrow is my birthday.

It seems so strange that as we grow up we also grow apart. 

We get older and leave home. We move in and out of places. 

We meet new people and forget old ones. 

It is strange that when there was once a connection, now there is none.

I spoke to my father today, for the first time in months.

We spoke on the phone; four minutes and two seconds was the length of our call.

It was my own fault really, he works you see. He works and I cannot.

We spoke about two things, my brother, and food stamps. 

Neither of which was very informative.

My father and I had always shared a deep bond.

We could speak on any subject freely and easily.

He possesses a wealth of knowledge and he shared it with me openly.

Now though, I am broken. 

I am afflicted and have become a reminder that not all problems can be solved. 

I do not travel, I cannot work, I have no income and no responsibility.

I gather no aid, and my possessions are gifts rooted from pity or friendship.

I don't say this to garner pity; but to inform that even the strongest of relationships can break.

Even the strongest of relationships can change, they can fade, they can bend. 

They can become nothing more than inconvenient calls and quick hellos.

If you can help it, don't grow up. Don't grow out. Don't leave or live without your loved ones.

Because one day you will call your family and they'll say "I'm sorry, who is this?"

Love

Sometimes you just have that one person.
The one person who makes life bright.
The one person who no matter how much time passes is still your one person.
They light up the sky even at night.
You can talk for hours without saying a word.
You can be yourself and not hide who you are and what you love.
Nothing is frustrating or bothersome.
You don't mind spending all of your time together.
You don't mind spending time alone.
Everything you do is amplified by your love for each other.
You never yell or fight or argue.
Any time you have a difference of opinion you don't seek to change each other.
You are completely content agreeing to disagree.
No one is wrong.
Love is amazing and I have been lucky enough to have two people like this in my life.
I hope everyone else is as lucky as me.

A Walk Among Friends

The air was stale and carried an unusual stench. The kind of scent that makes you think of bleach or drain cleaner. It was a foreign scent to me, but seeing as Tom and I hadn't gone for a walk in this part of town for so long, I chocked it up to unfamiliarity. I strode through some overgrown vegetation covering the pathway into the abandoned warehouse. I looked down at the freshly minted green stain on my old jeans. It was nice to be out and about like this again. Usually Tom would have met up with me by now, though I didn't mind enjoying the peace and quiet by myself. After about ten minutes of traversing the foliage and old broken brick that lay about, I stood out front of the warehouse. The stench was stronger here, so much so that it stung the senses. It was unusual for Tom to be late, more often he was early and I was the one dragging my feet. I reached into my pocket and retrieved my phone. If he was still a fair distance away I would suggest he meet me elsewhere. The air here just wasn't fit to breathe while discussing life. As I sifted through the contacts list on my phone I heard the distinct sound of glass breaking from inside the building. I shrugged off the sound and called Tom. Much to my surprise I heard a phone ringing inside the warehouse. I waited for an answer but when he didn't pick up I began to get inquisitive. Making sure to tread carefully for fear of cutting myself on broken glass, I climbed through a front window and glanced about at my surroundings. The warehouse was much different now than it had been years back. There were large wooden crates around and what appeared to be laboratory equipment perched all throughout. It was unsettling upon the eyes. It took my brain time to catch up with my eyes. The reviling scent, the lab equipment, the boxes; they indicated one thing above all, illegal activity. I searched around for Tom, taking great care to move as silently as I could. As I navigated my way through the makeshift aisles and dark corners of the warehouse I heard a loud crack come from beneath me. I froze. My every instinct told me to crouch low and hide, but instead I stood as still as a statue. My hands were numb and tingling; the hair on my arms stood vertical. I looked down and saw a piece of glass underneath my shoe. "Hello? Is someone there? Can you help me?" I heard a panicked voice say from the other side of the boxes. That was Tom's voice. It was slurred and slightly less coherent than normal, but it was unmistakably my friend. I slunk my way around the boxes to see him tied to a chair. His face was swollen and he had blood streaming from cuts too numerable to count. Taking in my surroundings I noticed a line of shelves behind where my friend was trussed up. Upon them I noticed a shotgun and a small flip knife. I crouched low and shifted over to the shelves, first taking up the knife and then the gun. I crouch-walked my way behind Tom and began sawing at the thick ropes with the knife, all the while making shush noises to quiet my beleaguered friend. After what seemed like an interminable time the rope finally gave way and Tom's hands were unbound. I handed him the gun, pressed my index finger to my lip, and motioned for him to follow me. I figured the best way out would probably be the way I took to get in. I hadn't run into anyone else so I hedged my bets that we might be just as lucky on the escape. As we reached my infamous glass footrest I leaned closely into earshot of Tom. "How many people are here?" I whispered as softly as I possibly could muster. He didn't say anything, but instead held up his pinkie, ring, and middle fingers. So, there were three that he knew of. Maybe more that he didn't. The last thing I wanted was to run into some tweaked out drug dealers. Being this close to Tom's face I noticed with more clarity the seriousness of his injuries. It looked as though his jaw was dislocated and one of his eyes was nearly swollen over. I motioned for us to continue on and so inch by terrible inch we moved closer to my point of entry. As we crept through the warehouse periodically we heard voices. None of the voices were close enough to make sense of conversation, but whenever we heard them Tom and I stopped moving and listened for signs of commotion. I needed to know if his escape had been discovered. Eventually, after what seemed like hours we made it back to the window I entered through. "Alright buddy, you go first. I'm right behind you." I whispered. He climbed out the window quietly, albeit a little clumsily. I cleared the window just after him and made the executive decision for us to start running. We sped through the plant life and down the overgrown pathway. Vegetation whipping at our skin as we sprinted our way to freedom. We rounded a corner and came face to face with another man. He was a tall and slender fellow with a large nose. He panicked as he saw us and scrambled for the pistol waiting at his hip. As Tom brought the shotgun up to bear, time seemed to freeze at that moment. It felt as though I could look around and study the scene for hours before anything transpired. The whole world felt like a game on pause; like everything was ready to resume whenever I wanted. I watched as the man brought his pistol up and leveled it at my friend's head. A loud boom erupted in my ears. I watched as blood and bone and brain matter blew passed me. The world was no longer on pause. Nothing was frozen anymore. I charged into the man, knocking him to the ground. I reached out for anything I could grab and came away with a fist sized rock. I brought it down over and over upon the tall man's face. I struck him until my arm was weary with fatigue. I looked down at him and let the stone fall from my grasp. My hands were covered in blood. Next to the stone lay the pistol. I reached out and picked it up. It felt heavy in my hand. I pushed myself to my feet and looked down at the man I had beaten with the rock. His body jerked unexpectedly and I squeezed the trigger on the gun, discharging a round into the dirt next to his shoulder. The sound of the gun threw me back into realization of the situation I was in. I turned around quickly and looked at Tom. He was barely recognizable after his injury. I picked him up and slung his lean frame over my shoulder. I held the shotgun by the barrel in one hand and the pistol rested in my pocket. I held onto the legs of Tom as I trudged through the overgrowth and headed towards assistance. "Don't worry buddy. Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to get you some help. Fix you right up." I don't know if I whispered or if I was shouting, but I repeated myself many times. I could feel a hot wetness across the back of my shirt, but I ignored it. I forced myself to believe it was not a concern. "It's okay." I said. "It's okay." My legs were beginning to feel like they were aflame and my lungs must have been close to bursting. Just when I believed I could not carry on any longer I reached paved ground. "The sidewalk, this is good pal. Just a little further. You can make it." I tossed my shoulder up to gain a bit more of a grasp on my friend. As I did I heard a sickening splashing sound behind me. I didn't stop to look. I just continued moving down the sidewalk as swiftly as my body would trod on. I had no stamina left and my limbs were working mechanically, driven mostly by the little adrenaline I had remaining. I must have passed at least three people but for some reason my mind kept telling me to push on. It kept telling me that I hadn't found a single soul yet. "Sir please drop the weapons and place the body on the ground." I stopped moving. I closed my eyes and shook my head. It was a hard shake, and to any onlookers it probably looked as though I was on some kind of drug. When I reopened my eyes I saw people all around me. I saw a car with red and blue lights dancing with one another on the roof. I blinked rapidly. I opened both of my hands and heard the clanging of steel touching cement. I balled my hands into fists to reaffirm that I still had hands. My body was numb and everything seemed out of focus. I reached up and lowered Tom into my arms. "Hey buddy." I said. "Don't worry. All these people can see you. They know you need help. I told you I would get you nice and safe. I'm sorry. I never should have asked you to come for a walk with me. I just wanted it to be like the old days. Like it was before I made so many mistakes with you. I missed my best friend, but it's okay now. We're back again. Everything is back again." I rested Tom on the ground. It took me a moment to realize I was on my knees. I felt hands pulling something from my pocket. I heard the familiar clink of steel on cement yet again. I watched as the ground rose up to meet my face, like a cold, hard and welcoming pillow.

A clever Man

A dashing rogue named Daniel was on trial before his king. He was accused of stealing from the kings coffers. The primary method of trial in the land of his king was a trail based on faith in the gods. The king would hold a small bag before the accused and state that two grapes resided within; a white grape, representing innocence, and a red grape, representing guilt. If the person on trial draws the white grape from the bag the gods have shown that the accused is innocent, and if the red grape is drawn then the gods have exposed a wicked criminal. The king, being the vindictive and boorish man that he was, decided to put two red grapes in the bag in an effort to seal Daniel's fate. Daniel's true crime was not that of theft, but of passion. Daniel had bedded one of the kings relatives and the king had taken it as an affront to his royalty. Thus his manufacturing of the current circumstance. The dashing rogue had suspected the king might find a way to insure either his guilt or his death and so every day until his trial he pondered the possibilities of his demise in an effort to subvert the king's will. After settling on a course of action he steeled himself for the coming trial. On the day of Daniel's trail the king held forth the bag containing the grapes with a large grimace on his face. Daniel reached into the bag and retrieved a grape, but before anyone could see the color of the grape, he thrust it into his mouth, chewed it up and swallowed it. The entire crowd of witnesses gasped. The room was silent for a few moments until Daniel himself addressed the people. "Surely the remaining grape would prove my guilt or innocence. If it is white then I am a doomed man. If it is red, then I have eaten the white and therefore am innocent." He turned to the king and saw a look of shock upon his face. Daniel flashed a dazzling smile, knowing that the features of the king's face betrayed the success of his actions. He drew forth the remaining red grape and was proclaimed innocent by all.

She

She dances like snowflakes
Sings like the sun
Soothes all your ailments
Every single one

Her kisses like raindrops
Her touch is the breeze
Every word from her lips
makes you weak at the knees

She'll change your whole life
If you give her the time
Pick you up when you're down
put you down when you're high

She is found everywhere
If you look hard enough
Music is life
Music is love

Madness 1

"We are all mad here." He said with a dark gleam in his eyes. I looked my former friend up and down. Gone was the thin introvert I once knew. The man who stood before me now was wolf lean and most assuredly insane. I watched as the cherry red fire ax shifted in his hands. He was giving some rousing speech about the liberating freedom of anarchy and insanity to his followers. I could barely focus on his words with the pain from my restraints. The rope was biting deep into my skin. I tried to block it out and focus on my friend-turned-adversary. He stood tall and shirtless before me; sweat gleaming across his features. "And this is why we must show them the greatness of our ideology! We must force them to receive us! We must be heard!" The words exited his mouth as nonsensical bile to me, but to his followers it was gospel. I looked up at him as he grinned at me and raised the ax above his head. I watched as it came slicing down, and the world became a black fog of nothingness.

Love

We can't help who we love.
 Man or woman; family or friend.
As humans we don't look at a person and consciously decide we are going to love them.
If you have to do so, then I am sorry to say that you're not experiencing real love.
Love is beautiful in all forms and it should always be treated as such.
Even if you don't agree with it personally, you have no cause or calling to insult or inconvenience someone in love.

Man, woman, family or friend, love is beautiful. Respect love.